(though not necessarily in that order)

(though not necessarily in that order)

Saturday, 15 January 2011

Tired, really tired.

Though some things are possible, it doesn't mean they are that good an idea.

I'm exhuasted. Monday's adventures in Londinium have completely wiped me out. My memory is practically non-existant, I'm forgetting things left right and centre.

I needed to do it to prove to myself I could. And I can. However, with my ticket to a concert very near the London terminal that trains from Navel-Gazing Tiny Market Town arrive at on Monday, I'm not going to make a day of it. I can't afford to have another week being this tired. Instead I'll leave here at about 4.30pm after a quiet start of day/lunchtime/afternoon and simply enjoy the music then get back on the train and come home.

Pushing myself so I acheive what I thought was impossible is one thing, still feeling utterly exhuasted after four days is another. Going off to have a day galavanting around London has wiped me out. Sleeping is never enough but I always need more sleep.

As I do more adventurous things, I'm likely to find out this the hard way more I guess. After the event, when I'm yawning and aching and being a bit woolly-headed. I need to learn quite where my limits lie, so I don't surpass them in such a spectularly week-destroying way.

Right, to balance out the kicking myself for being exhausted stuff, I'm going to write down some positives from the week:
- Now on day 14 of Life Sans Alcohol. Current aim is Tuesday - I'm doing a funeral and funerals generally leave me wanting to feel nothing and getting drunk so we shall wait and see how Tuesday is. The teenager of the household said "You are far more funny and nice to be around without the alcohol." which was a bit of a reality check.
- Musically, it hasn't been too bad a week. I've also decided to help with a concert at my sixth form college, which was where I went mad to the point of being hospitalised. The fact I feel able to walk onto the grounds of the school, let alone perform, shows that I'm in a far better place than I was.
- I've realised my voice doesn't sound as horrendous as I thought. Y'know that your voice sounds really different when not heard from inside your head? Well, I always hated hearing it back because I felt it was the most horrendous speaking voice. 30 minutes and a sound recorder has made me realise it isn't as bad as I first thought.
- Three quarters of my maths text books for the year have turned up. I've got the majority of the assignmnet done which I need to finish before starting on the new stuff, hopefully I'll finish it in the next few days and can start the exciting new maths!
- I've admitted to Mum that my eyesight is worsening. Now I've told her, I'm likely to have the almost constant nagging until I actually make the appointment to see the optician. Preparing for the lecture of "but you've avoided us for years" (I know, I know. I just shreded each pestering letter that appeared and hoped nothing would detiorate. However, at orchestra on Wednesday I struggled to see the music which isn't so good.)
- I don't think I've said anything really stupid aloud which makes me want the ground to open up so I can escape.  Always a good thing...

So, not just a week of yawns and tired eyes then. A weekend ahead is fairly quiet and has a concert to end it off, a Monday being slightly less ambitious than I perhaps would have been but probably a more sensible plan and then hopefully a week with less yawning will happen. Maybe. Possibly. Hopefully. *yawns*

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