tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7266314258014807000.post7624115515347852883..comments2023-05-18T12:55:46.706+01:00Comments on Ponderings from me: I foughtPianofortehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03925480007071613292noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7266314258014807000.post-1600391469151109882011-02-22T14:54:35.313+00:002011-02-22T14:54:35.313+00:00Maybe it was just about realising that you were wo...Maybe it was just about realising that you were worth the fight?....and maybe you just need reminding of that now. Of course that doesn't mean that the fight doesn't go on...because it does and this new life that you've fought hard for isn't enough to silence the voices or keep the darkness away BUT it is a sign that you realised that you are worth fighting for. <br /><br />You say yourself that you were hospitalised for your own safety, maybe somewhere inside you knew that you had to start fighting as to not to would have been far too dangerous. Maybe that's the biggest incentive for you to continue to fight. Not necessarily because you always see the point in the life you have created, or because you think you will ever get to a point where there is life totally without the darkness, but maybe it's more about recognising that the life you had before was damaging and dangerous to you - maybe that's more of an incentive than all of the positives?<br /><br />I know that when you are feeling this low and everything seems futile it's difficult to hear positive things about yourself but try to cling to this. You have done an awful lot to be immensely proud of. The fact that you got out of the revolving door is huge. You did that on your own. That was your battle and you did it, and you built this new life. There may be times in the future when you still need that same level of psych assistance, but the difference now is that you know you can do it. You know that you have the strength to fight, constantly exhausting as it is - you did it. <br /><br />By the way, your comments re not being able to give criticism....lots of people find this so difficult. The thing is people will expect it of you when you are conducting. Try to think of it more as conducting and inspiring them and offering them direction rather than criticising them.<br /><br />Keep treading water. You are nearly half way through the week already. Keep noticing the little things like the flowers, keep seeing the world in your way and noticing beauty where others may miss it. Keep wearing stripy socks and baking brownies. Fall back on every coping mechanism that you can think of and continue to fight - because you have to and because you are worth it. <br /><br />Take care<br />Jo.x <br />(lilandtedsmum)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com